As Carter played on his scooter and moved from ramp to ramp at the skate park, his mother kept vigil for others to arrive. Carter was a five-year-old autistic boy who struggled with personal interactions with large groups. Big groups of older kids can make him nervous, so Kristen, Carter’s mom was fully prepared to get him out of there if others arrived.
As he played that afternoon, her fear was realized and a large group of middle school students made their way into the skate park. She knew that their day at the park was most likely over. You know how middle school kids sometimes operate like they’re in a pack? Well, that is what happened here. Gavin led the way and the others followed. The only surprise was that Gavin didn’t start trouble, he started a friendship.
“I don’t know, they really just shocked me. It was unlike any experience I think I’ve ever had,” Kristen said. “Gavin is just going around with him and making him feel special. The rest of his friends kind of followed suit and then started singing Happy Birthday to him. That really blew me away, ‘cause you just want to see the kindness in the world. And I wanted Carter to have a good birthday.”
The parenting utopia is when you see your child treating others the way you always want them to be treated. Gavin’s mom said this, “You always just assume that he is doing good when you’re not watching them. It is a great feeling when you actually see it happen.”
If you want to watch and read about the entire story go here. https://abc7news.com/society/superhero-kids-include-5-year-old-birthday-boy-at-skate-park/5222569/
It turns out that humans are made for kindness. That’s right we are made for kindness. Decher Keltner, Professor of Psychology at UC Berkeley explains that most people are routinely good, kind, and sacrificing people. He also goes on to say that most people have the wrong idea about what Darwin was getting at with survival of the fittest. It isn’t that the most ruthless, bloodthirsty individuals thrive and survive. Darwin actually said that “sympathy” is the strongest instinct that humans have to flourish. "Communities, which included the greatest number of the most sympathetic members, would flourish best, and rear the greatest number of offspring." Charles Darwin. Sympathy or caring for others makes people the fittest for survival. We survive more when we build a strong sense of community with sympathy and kindness towards others.
Consider middle school educator Orly Wahba. She started Life Vest after working to help her students understand the powerful feeling that she had inside when she helped others. It turns out that our entire body, not just our brain, but our nervous system to our cardiovascular system is affected by these sympathetic kindness acts. Teaching our children to have sympathy is one of our most powerful tools for building a strong sense of community.
As you continue to build more tiered support systems for the coming year, I am challenging each school to build a 2019-2020 schedule of systemic lessons and activities to help our children learn to receive and give kindness. Look at the Random Acts of Kindness free resources as well as Common Sense resources. Our Multi-Tiered systems of support for all of our students start with a systemic approach to influence the culture of our school community. If Orly Wahba is right, then it is about how we model kindness in our own lives that makes the difference for the students we serve. Thanks for what you all do and check out many of the resources below that will inspire you as they did me.
Educational Resources:
1. Random Acts of Kindness Lessons K-8 : https://www.randomactsofkindness.org/grade-6-8-lesson-plans#printables
2. Common Sense Lessons: https://www.commonsense.org/education/digital-citizenship/curriculum
3. Good Character: https://www.goodcharacter.com/
4. Redding High-Quality Teaching Chart: http://reddingschools.net/hqteachingdiagram (see culture)
Video:
1. The Science of Kindness: https://youtu.be/O9UByLyOjBM
2. Ted Talk – Kindness – Orly Wahba: https://youtu.be/yn9VxUPlC5g
3. Life Vest Inside – Kindness Boomerang – “One Day” : https://youtu.be/nwAYpLVyeFU
Enjoy the weekend,
Rob
Superintendent
Redding Elementary School District
New Millennium Partnership
5885 East Bonnyview Rd.
Redding, Ca 96001